On my way to work this morning, I suddenly realized that it's been a week since I've practiced my yoga - stupid shoulder is giving me trouble.
No wonder I feel as though the sky is falling on me right now.
My body feels fine - my spine that is. Normally it craves the extension and compression of my yoga if I miss more than 3 days of practice.
I guess I've managed to put some yoga in the bank - as Bikram says - so that I don't NEED my practice every day.
My mind and spirit need it right now. I need that focus. I'm coming to realize it's not the focus of doing one thing for 90 minutes but that for 90 minutes I think of nothing but myself. Me. THE most important person in my world.
I've been stressed this week with the strong possibility of being unemployed at the end of the month. Thinking about all those day to day things I have to do.
I'm going to enter the hot room this weekend. Even if I just sit there for 90 minutes. I need to take my time back.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
June 17, 2011
February 15, 2010
Too Much To Prove
Monday morning 6am class, is ALWAYS a challenge.
No matter how well I sleep, how hydrated I am, Monday mornings knock me down. Mondays also consist of one of my favourite teachers and I always want to do well to show them how I am improving.
I know this yoga should be about me. This is my practice, my time, my experience, but the little girl in me pipes up and says, "Look! Look at me!"
This morning my knee hurt, for no reason, I'd had a horrible nightmare right before waking up, and just had the all around Mondays. I couldn't decide where I wanted to lay my mat and didn't talk to anyone. My practice looked fine as I sweated for the 90 minutes, I was able to do the poses to my regular depth but I was just going through the motions. In my mind I knew I could do better. I wasn't really present. I struggled and was frustrated with myself and my inability to just be in the moment.
I almost always leave Monday morning class feeling this frustration. I am not sure whether it is because I set myself up for this by telling myself, "this Monday will be a good class!" or if it's just the way of the world and the weekend is over and my routine must start again.
And so I've decided that on Monday mornings, I am going to try to be inconspicuous. I will find myself a quiet little corner in the studio where I can observe myself in the mirror but where I am not in the front row, where I am not in direct sight of my instructor.
Mondays will be a fresh start where I will allow myself the forgiveness to be a little tired and to start the week on a good note.
No matter how well I sleep, how hydrated I am, Monday mornings knock me down. Mondays also consist of one of my favourite teachers and I always want to do well to show them how I am improving.
I know this yoga should be about me. This is my practice, my time, my experience, but the little girl in me pipes up and says, "Look! Look at me!"
This morning my knee hurt, for no reason, I'd had a horrible nightmare right before waking up, and just had the all around Mondays. I couldn't decide where I wanted to lay my mat and didn't talk to anyone. My practice looked fine as I sweated for the 90 minutes, I was able to do the poses to my regular depth but I was just going through the motions. In my mind I knew I could do better. I wasn't really present. I struggled and was frustrated with myself and my inability to just be in the moment.
I almost always leave Monday morning class feeling this frustration. I am not sure whether it is because I set myself up for this by telling myself, "this Monday will be a good class!" or if it's just the way of the world and the weekend is over and my routine must start again.
And so I've decided that on Monday mornings, I am going to try to be inconspicuous. I will find myself a quiet little corner in the studio where I can observe myself in the mirror but where I am not in the front row, where I am not in direct sight of my instructor.
Mondays will be a fresh start where I will allow myself the forgiveness to be a little tired and to start the week on a good note.
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