Getting Back on the Food Wagon

Before my birthday, back in November, I was eating very clean.  I had cut out all gluten, only ate squash, vegetables and occasionally rice noodles for carbs and once a week would have a "cheat" day, which consisted of a yummy wholesome meal, most of the time vegetarian.  I fell off the wagon.  It's so easy to do.  That slope slides out from underneath you very quickly.  While my food intake was not nearly as bad as it has been in the past - years ago - I was still eating too much once Christmas rolled around.  I would sneak in a sweet here and there, started eating white pastas again because it was a special time of year!  My wonderful Mac and Cheese graced our plates twice in December.

I know myself well enough by now that I know what works for me and what doesn't.  In order to get back on the clean eating band wagon I need to start slow.  If I jump right back into how I was eating before my birthday it would last a few days but then I would fall hard.  Some people would say, well just don't let yourself fall.  I simply don't work that way.  I am working on building compassion for myself and setting myself up for failure is not a way to do this. 

So last week I started keeping a food journal again.  I track my food on LiveStrong.com.  I tracked my food on here for over a year and decided back in November that I was going to see how I did without recording my food intake.  Well, it turns out I do need to hold myself accountable for things or I make excuses for myself.  

I have removed all sweeteners from my diet, while I rarely eat sugar, I had started putting real maple syrup on my oats in the morning.  This is one of the best things ever.  But I am resisting this because I find if I have anything other than fruit sugar in the morning I crave sweets and bread all day.  I am measuring out my portion sizes.  One cup of cooked steel cut oats for breakfast, I could easily eat two because they are so amazing, but it is simply unnecessary.  Half a banana in my shake, there is no need for a whole banana, especially when they are massive.  I drink half a lemon squeezed in water when I am craving something sweet.  The instant sugar from the lemon juice is quite satisfying.  And I'm on day 5 of no booze!  I started buying scotch right before Christmas, I'd drink 3-4 ounces a night.  While some may say this too much and others may say it's OK it's not that much.  I know deep down that that alcohol does turn directly into sugar in my body.  Which causes my metabolism to slow down and causes me to crave more sugar.

As I reread this, it all seems so easy.  Let me tell you if you think that you are ever alone in your struggles with resisting sweets or chips or hamburgers - picture this.  There I was yesterday right before dinner time walking through the mall after having tea with my aunt and cousins.  I specifically had rooibos tea so that I would not have any cream in my coffee.  There I was so proud of myself for making the smart choice and like a beacon blinking at me is Purdy's Chocolates.  I think to myself, ah no harm in having a peak, but I resisted.  I kept walking.  I didn't get 50 feet past the store and I literally turned right and right back towards the chocolate.  I stood at the counter admiring the many different chocolates, thinking I could get three bars because they are 3 for $7.00.  I could eat one immediately and bring the other two to have after dinner for me and LW.  As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I bolted and got out of that mall as fast as I could.

So, if you're ever struggling or if you have a sweet one day when you're trying to eat clean, don't beat yourself up about it.  We all struggle with all the amazing yummy food out there.  Just try to make the smartest choices you can.  And if you don't at one moment - meh - just start again from that moment.  It's OK to make mistakes, just acknowledge them and move forward.

Winter Food Woes

What is it about these cold days that make me want to make yummy, cheesy casseroles and bake warm savory pies?  It is killing my self control right now.  Last night I made a tamale pie, which I found to be OK. It was my first time making it and I'd never made grits before so there was a learning curve but it was a fail in LW's opinion so at least that one will be off the menu.  I'm trying to find some great one pot meals that LW can throw in the oven when I'm at yoga and we can eat when I get home.  I'm starting to lose my creativity and along with the health factor.

I've been breaking out the crock pot and have been letting veggies and meats simmer all day which is delicious.  I found an amazing recipe for Shepherd's Pie, which uses way less potatoes than normal and incorporates yummy squash into the topping.

The lack of fresh, in season fruit and vegetables is such a shock to the system after November.  Here, in Victoria, we get local squash, potatoes and kale well into winter but the local carrots are starting to fade and the zucchini is long gone.  I find it difficult to buy carrots from California because a) they have no flavour, b) they have traveled so far and c) they are more expensive.  And cauliflower is starting to get pricey again - four dollars for one head! 

I've been roasting vegetables which I adore and baking chicken but I've also been craving homemade mac and cheese and homemade perogies.  I find I start the week off well with lots of kale and healthy food but as the week starts to end and it keeps getting colder I struggle with choosing to make the healthier choices.  I guess it's just reconnecting with my self control and doing more research for some healthy, non cheesy dishes.

Curse of the Wine Gums

I love wine gums.  Adore them.  I covet them when they are on sale.  I don't like the small tiny roll of wine gums, I want the bag.  I tell myself that they will last forever.  I'll savor each one, saving the black ones for last.

This is not the way it works.  I buy the bag and restrain myself from eating them until I get home.  Then I dive into them.  I pull them out by the handful.  I eat them one by one but they go down fast.  My mouth and jaw work in overtime as I devour these delicious little candies.  There's something about the chewy stick to your teeth goodness that I love.  I keep going back for more, until half the bag is gone and then I shove them into the back of the cupboard and swear I won't eat anymore until later in the evening. 

5 minutes later I am back in the cupboard following the same ritual.

I did this yesterday.  And immediately felt ill.  I got a terrible tummy ache.  My body started aching.  My head started to hurt.  I got really tired and had a nap on the couch.

I have never reacted to a wine gum overdose like this.  I sometimes get a little tummy ache and my teeth hurt a little bit but never this severe physical backlash from my body.

I ended up missing yoga because of this.

Yesterday, I hit rock bottom on my addiction to wine gums.

 

Product Review - Tofu Noodles

I was at my local grocery store the other day and discovered these Tofu Shirataki fettuccine noodles.  They were on sale for 2 dollars a pack so I thought I'd give them a try.

The package instructs you to first rinse them very well and then boil for 2 minutes and rinse thoroughly to "reduce the authentic aroma".  Yes, they smell.  They kind of smell like fish.  Not fish gone bad, just fish before you cook it. 

Ingredients: water, tofu, yam and calcium hydroxide. 

They actually look and feel like real fettuccine.

I followed the directions.  Rinsed, heated and rinsed again and then tasted them before I topped them with the pasta sauce.  They were chewy, very al dente, and had no residual smell.

My tofu noodles on the left and LW's real pasta on the right.

I topped my noodles with strips of zucchini and my homemade tomato and beef sauce.  They were tasty and a nice change to just eating my pasta sauce with zucchini strips.


Would I buy them again?  Maybe.  At 2 dollars for one serving they are not bad but I could just as easily eat my zucchini noodles and be thoroughly content.

Breakfast Pancake

With this new eating plan I am experimenting with, I had to come up with some breakfast ideas other than my standard rolled oats, Greek yogurt and fruit.  What I came up with was a butternut squash pancake.

Take a butternut squash, cut it in half and remove the seeds.  Bake it at 350 degrees until you can stick a fork in to the flesh.  Cut the squash into four equal pieces.  Take one of those pieces and scoop it out of skin and into a bowl.  Mash it up with some cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg.  Add in a tablespoon of flax seeds and one egg or a quarter cup of egg whites.  Mash it all together until it is a lovely orange, brown mush.  Heat a pan on the stove and pour your pancake batter into the hot pan.  Fry at medium heat until the bottom starts to firm up - sometimes I add frozen blueberries at this point.  Flip carefully.  It will may fall apart - no biggie - just stick it back together again and finish the second side.  Slide onto a plate and top with whatever you'd like.

I like to top my pancake with Greek yogurt and fruit! 

For the past 4 weeks I have been very careful with how, what and when I've been eating. Breakfast is normally oatmeal with fruit and flax seeds. I have a snack a couple hours later of carrots and a homemade date ball. Lunch this week was chicken breast with a little brown rice and salad and then an afternoon snack of tuna, spinach and salsa. And dinner varies but is always a protein with a salad.

Last night was my 'cheat night'. I decided I was going to make homemade carbonara. I hadn't had pasta for quite awhile, especially for dinner. And of course I had to buy white wine to make the meal. I should've known - I secretly did - that some of that wine would be sipped on as I cooked. The meal was - alright. I enjoyed my salad much more. The pasta did little to satisfy whatever I thought I was craving. I know it wasn't the best carbonara I've ever made. I felt disappointed by the meal and then accepted chocolate on our after dinner walk, thinking it would make up for it all.

Turns out, I had the worst sleep ever. I felt restless even when I was sleeping. When LW climbed into bed I think I was grumpy and maybe rude.

Moral of the story? Well, my body is obviously enjoying my clean eating very much. My taste buds have totally changed, salads are better than heavy, bacon filled pasta. I like cauliflower rice instead of real rice.

I think I'm really becoming more aware of what my body needs and what my body doesn't. And I'm trying to disassociate the idea that a treat or a reward has to be a rich, heavy meal.

I'm sitting here, early Saturday morning, contemplating my relationship with food. For me it has never just been a fuel. Food was something you shoved in your mouth as fast as you could before your brothers or dad ate it all. I always try to eat my meals slower than LW and I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. The first time I ever reached for food for comfort was when I was 11 and my Opa had passed away. I remember clearly going to the chocolate ice cream in the freezer and eating because I didn't know what else to do.

Food has always been something I've struggled with. I can go to both extremes where I can eat way to much when I'm happy or depressed to eating nothing when I'm stressed out. I think I'm starting to find a happy balance between the two - it only took me 30 years.

Rant Time

Alright, I'm sorry but I've got to get this off my chest.

Why in the world do people have to bring in sugary, fatty, bready food in to the work place to celebrate something?? Especially something like a Canucks game win? Why do donuts have to be the way to celebrate something as physically demanding and mentally challenging as getting into the Stanley Cup Finals??

I walked into the staff room this morning following my sweaty 50 minute workout and protein shake, eager to have my oatmeal, apple and coffee and there glaring at me was a box of a dozen Tim Hortons donuts, daring me to eat them. And not only do I have to resist donuts or cookies brought in occasionally but there is also an endless supply of cookies, crackers, mixed salted nuts, chips, crappy MSG filled instant soup and chocolate. Give me some fruit people! Or some vegetables! Or how about a couple hours off at the end of the day? Why does reward have to look like a surgary, chocolatey donut?

A year ago, I started an attempt to stop looking at cigarettes as a reward or a coping mechanism. Society freaks out at smokers, considers them the bane of existence because they suck back on smoke that pollutes the air inside their lungs and the air around them. Well you know what? I consider the encouragement or the view of junk food as a reward for good behaviour or as a coping mechanism just as bad, if not worse! When I was smoker, I would step away from a non smoker so as to not bother them, if you're gonna bring donuts into my workplace, please keep them away from me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love sweets, chocolate, candy, cakes. But every day? To be available for mass consumption every day? There is something wrong with this. There should be moderation in everything that we do. I understand wanting chocolate. I understand wanting a donut. And I know that I need to learn to resist foods like this because I choose not to eat them regularly but I would really appreciate it that a "healthy work environment" didn't consist of crappy ass food in my face on a daily basis.

Sunday Night Dinner

It's been a very lazy Sunday over here.  It's been lovely.  And it's even better because tomorrow is Victoria Day which means, LONG WEEKEND!

Tonight I made Babi Kecap for dinner.  I found the recipe one day while scouring the food for Dutch recipes.  Ellie has a ton of recipes with Dutch and Indonesian influences, which is what I grew up on.  I substituted the tamarind water for lemon juice and chopped dates soaked in water, the pork shoulder for pork tenderloin and I didn't have Bird's Eyes chile peppers, I used some spicy Thai ones I found at the market.  I added some mushrooms and a yellow pepper and served it over brown rice for LW and cauliflower rice for myself.

Dry Eyes and Counting Calories

So, after practicing two lovely mornings in the hot room I've noticed that my eyes have been terribly dry at night.  I wake up and they hurt to open - I stumble to the bathroom and blindly put drops in them.  I am attributing this to the yoga; 1) Because my eyes were not nearly this dry before my first class back. 2) They had been keeping their moisture at night until I started my classes again. 3) The lovely Jane told me that at teacher training her eyes got super dry from practicing twice a day. 

So, I didn't practice this morning.  I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and did a quick 20 minutes of stretching until rushing off to catch the bus to work. I'm going to see how my eyes fare tonight.  If they feel better, I'm going to do my at home practice and leave the hot room for another day.  If they are the same, I'm heading back to the hot room, baby.

On another note - I am trying to get back to healthy eating - just over 1700 calories a day if I don't do any workouts or yoga.  Today was hard!  But, as long as I don't cave between now and bedtime, I think I will have gone over by only 37 calories and that includes a scotch on the rocks.  So I'm pretty pleased with myself.  Work is the worst.  When I'm not super busy I get bored and then what do I want to do?  EAT! 

Sometimes I think to myself that I shouldn't worry about the calories but you know, it keeps me focused.  If I stray and eat cupcakes all day, I'll write it down but I remember it and I especially remember how I felt when I was munching.  So, I'll just take it one day at a time.

Woe!

Lately, I feel as though just one thing after another is trying to knock me down.

I've developed allergies to something.  I randomly break out into hives.  They are ugly and terribly itchy.  I have been waiting for over 6 months to see an allergist.  I know I should just go to a Naturopath but that costs money.  Doctors in Canada are free.  My shoulder has been sore for months and months because of my job.  I tried to follow the proper steps and file a claim, hoping something would be done, something would change because nothing changes or is done in my office.  I was just told my claim most likely would not be accepted and my physio bill will be up to me to pay.  I'm having a major dissagreement with a friend and it's wearing me down.

I'm just tired.  Yet here I go challenging myself with this yoga championship.

All I want right now is big plate of pasta, Parmesan cheese, fresh bread, a few glasses of red wine, my bed and continuous episodes of Project Runway.

Chocolate Tofu Mousse with a Walnut Crust

I love to cook.  I love trying new recipes.  And I especially enjoy cooking for people.  At the lovely Lala's request, here is my first ever recipe to be shared here at Yoga Daze.

Don't be turned off by the tofu.  It works - seriously - it's delicious and relatively good for you.  I rarely follow recipes to the T, I often adjust and change ingredients to suit my mood so feel free to play with the ingredients.

Chocolate Tofu Mousse with a Walnut Crust

Walnut Crust
3 cups raw walnuts
2 T brown sugar
3 T softened butter

Preheat oven to 325°.  Chop walnuts in a food processor until crumbly.  Add sugar and butter.  Pulse until well combined.  Press the walnut mixture into a greased 9 inch pie plate.  Bake crust in oven for about 10 minutes or until the edges are brown.  Allow to cool.

Chocolate Mousse

1 package Silken Firm tofu
1.5 cups milk chocolate chips
1/4 cup coffee (optional)
2 tsp cinnamon (optional)
1 tsp vanilla

Place the chocolate chips in a pot and melt the chocolate chips on a very low temperature so they don't burn.  Add the coffee, cinnamon and vanilla as the chocolate melts.  Meanwhile, place the tofu in a blender or food processor and blend until smooth.  Pour the melted chocolate into the blender and blend with the tofu until creamy and well mixed.  Pour the mousse into the baked pie crust and chill.  Decorate the pie with fruit or serve with fruit on the side.

Enjoy!

Kombucha!

Kombucha is a fermented tea that can be drunk for medicinal purposes.  You've probably seen people drinking it at your yoga studio as well as sitting on the shelves at many health food stores.  It kind of reminds me of apple cider.  It is super refreshing and I find it quenches my thirst like nothing else.

According to Wikipedia, the first recorded history of Kombucha began in Russia in the late 19th century where it was called "tea mushroom" or "mushroom tea".  This website says Kombucha originated in China during the Tsin Dynasty and was called the Tea of Immortality.  The drink, apparently, has many health benefits, such as aiding our digestive tracts and altering the pH balance of our large intestine.  It also contains many different acids that are good for the body as well as B vitamins.  However, none of these benefits have been proven by any Western scientists, so there are many skeptics out there.  I figure that if people have been consuming this beverage for so many years, there must be some truth to it.

I started making my own Kombucha a couple months ago.  My yoga friend, D, gave me a "baby" from her "mother".  A baby is other wise known as a S.C.O.B.Y (symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast).  It is weird looking, kind of like a placenta - I know, gross.  It is very firm and mushroom like and smells like vinegar.  You add the S.C.O.B.Y to brewed black or green tea and sugar and allow it to ferment for 7 to 10 days.  The S.C.O.B.Y feeds off of the sugar while producing acids, such as acetic acid, malic acid and folic acid.  The fermenting tea must be kept in a dark space at room temperature.  The bacterial culture does not like to be exposed to light or cool temperatures, or it dies.  After it has fermented you pour the liquid into jars, I use Mason jars.  I fill them right to the top and then put them back in the cupboard for 5 to 10 days.  This seems to make the tea slightly fizzier, which I like.  I, then, keep the jars in the fridge and drink about a cup a day, usually after yoga class.

There are many different ways to make Kombucha.  The basic steps are the same, you can find them on the website above or at Seeds of Health.  I have used two different teas, always black.  And have tried different steeping times for the tea.  I like my Kombucha best when I steep the tea for only a few minutes, steeping it longer makes the Kombucha taste more like actual black tea, which I don't particularly care for.  With my next batch I am going to put a few slices of ginger in the jars and see how it tastes.

If you can get your hands on a S.C.O.B.Y, I highly recommend trying to make your own Kombucha.  It is very satisfying, extremely easy and it's always fun to drink something that you've made.

Me and my first batch of Kombucha.

My gorgeous Kombucha.

Habits

Do you ever catch yourself doing something just because that's what you do?  Giving it no thought, no pause for consideration.  Your morning coffee.  Slouching at the computer.  That piece of chocolate before you go to bed.  The ice in your water bottle.  The after dinner cigarette.

I've been slowly trying to change my routine habits.  I have now completely eliminated the ice from my water bottle.  I only drink Emergen-C if I feel I need it.  I am trying to wear clothes in my closet that I have let gather dust.  I recently quit smoking.  I don't crave it at all anymore but sometimes I feel like I should have one, just because that's what I used to do.

These habits exist in my yoga as well.  In my class with Ida, I was doing final Spine Twist.  Leg lifted over the knee, arm over the leg, arm wrapped around my back, hand gripping my shorts.  This was as far as I could go, the idea of grabbing my thigh with my hand seemed a million miles away.  Ida gently took my arm and moved it lower and closer to my torso so that I was almost grabbing my thigh!  This was so much closer than I ever thought I could go!  I had just automatically stopped at the waistband of my shorts because that was my depth - my body would not go any deeper - it was how I was built and that was that.

I think that once you become aware of these habits - once you become present while going through the motions of these routines - it becomes easier to change them.  It is definitely not a smooth transition - it can be really hard.  Hell, I just ate too much because I was sitting at work, frustrated and bored.  But at least I was conscious of the fact that I was going to feel bloated and regret it later.  I think the more you realize how you react in situations or how you take hold of your moments the more you will keep moving and growing - in and out of the hot room.

Cravings

Yoga food cravings.  You ever get them?  After a long hour of sweating, stretching, bending, twisting and breathing - when you finally get to lie down on a sweat soaked towel, heels together, arms by your side, staring at the ceiling - focusing on your breath, trying to keep your mind empty - do you ever think about food?  I have many cravings when I'm in that blissed out space for two minutes and I often go home and consume that yoga craving.

Juicy ripe watermelon dripping down my chin.  Orange juice sucked from the slice of an orange.  A cup of strong milky coffee.  A piece of toast with real butter and local honey.  Fresh cherries picked right from the tree.  A cold blueberry smoothy.  A bagel with avocado, egg and tomato.

Well this morning I was lying there, thoroughly enjoying my couple minutes of rest and I suddenly wanted a tumbler full of gin, soda, a couple ice cubes and a wedge of lime.  Yep, that's what I wanted.  The stringent, piney taste of gin, the tingling of the soda bubbles and the tartness of the lime.  I lay there, wishing I had a bottle of gin in my cupboard and cursing the fact that it was 7 am and I really shouldn't drink gin before work.  Hmmm, maybe a cider would do?