September 30, 2010

Take a Moment

Everywhere you look these days you see screens.  Everywhere!  Giant televisions, computers, IPods, IPhones, Blackberrys.  It is nearly impossible to avoid some sort of high tech device that allows you to snap photos, text message, update your Facebook page or take a video clip.  There seems to be this constant need, addiction, requirement, to be constantly plugged in, to be updating everyone about your whereabouts, to be snapping pictures or recording moments.  What ever happened to just being in the moment?  To just enjoying the moment as it happens?

LW and I took a mid week weekend on Tuesday.  We hopped off the island over to Vancouver for the night to see one of our favourite bands, The Arcade Fire.  I forgot my cell at home plugged into the wall, charging and LW, well, he doesn't own one.  He doesn't like being readily available.  We were supposed to meet up with a friend and while it took a little more effort to find a pay phone to call him and for about an hour I felt a little lost, I found it really relaxing not to have my phone or a clock with me.  And it was wonderful that it was just us and no one could interrupt our time - it  truly made it our little trip.

Back to the screens.  We arrived at the venue for the show a little early and were sitting in our seats watching the people filing in.  Tons of people with their drinks, their newly purchased Arcade Fire t-shirts, their jackets over their arms, purses and of course their bloody phones.  Everywhere we turned there were screens glowing that eerie light.  All around the stadium.  There was a family of four a few rows in front of us and the mother and daughter could not stop looking at their IPhones or whatever they were.  Looking at pictures they'd taken, or text messaging or reading emails.  At one point, we watched the husband and wife stare at the time on her phone for 2 minutes - just staring at these bright red numbers.

I do not understand this, AT ALL.  There is so much going on around you at any given moment during the day - why oh why is a tiny little screen in your hand more interesting than the hundreds of people milling around you?  Don't get me wrong, I understand that you may be meeting someone and need to get in touch.  But I do not understand how the world - the actual living, breathing, changing world - is not captivating enough to hold your attention for a half hour.

In yoga, we are told to focus on the moment, to BE in the moment.  Forget what you have to do, what you forgot to do and where you need to be.  Just exist. 

I think we need to this more in our everyday lives, as well.  Enjoy what's going on around you!  Enjoy watching the kids with their parents at a music show.  Admire the pretty girl sitting by herself.  Look at people's fashion style and sense.  You can't find this life on a screen in the palm of your hand.  You can look for it but I guarantee you, it won't feel the same.

September 24, 2010


Wine - Argentinian Malbec. Music - Pink Floyd. Dinner - Roasted Veggies and Burgers. Friday Night - I don't have to do anything I don't want to do.

It's the simple things.

September 22, 2010

Security Blankets

As I lay in two minute savasana this morning, my mind drifted to how sad I would be if this one particular teacher moved on.  I find him comforting, down to earth and very approachable.  He is a constant for 2 hours out of my week and it helps keep me grounded.  This thought moved on to feeling the same way about the entire studio.  I often wonder how I existed without this studio in my life.  How I got through rough days before the hot room, the yoga practice and the instructors were there to open their arms to me.  The morning after I found out my Oma had passed away, I went to yoga.  It grounded me for that 90 minutes, it allowed me to take a break from my thoughts, my grief and it helped me just be in my moment.

I have other security blankets in my life: 

My "Didi", my baby blanket that my wonderful Auntie made me.  Didi moved out with me for the first time when I was 18, travelled around Europe with me, went to college with me, was my pillow for a year and collected many of my tears.  I still have Didi and I always will.

The movie, Almost Famous, is my most favourite of movies.  I don't know if it is the characters, the music, the
story, it is probably all of it combined but it has calmed me down many times.  When I've been too hung over to sleep I skip to my favourite scenes.  When I lived in a basement suite in a hundred year old house that had mice and rats, it accompanied me while I lay wide awake at night with all the lights on, listening to creatures running around in my ceiling and behind my walls.  I can nearly recite every line and have made my own soundtrack of the songs that were left out on the official movie soundtrack.  And somehow in a very round about way, I can totally relate to the character, Penny Laine.

I have been blind as a bat for as long as I can remember and would not be able to survive without my glasses.  I got my first pair when I was in grade one.  I still remember putting them on and feeling sick to my stomach.  The world suddenly looked very close.  There were very definite lines between curbs on the side walk and the road.  It took me a long time to get used to having my glasses, to being able to see properly.  I would often forget them and would have to struggle through my school day.  Now I am nearly 29, and I am always concerned that I will forget them or lose them.  When I pack to go away, they come with me in my purse.  I have extra contacts with me all the time and when I worked in the bush I would carry an old pair of glasses and extra contact lenses with me.  In a place unfamiliar to me I would have a horrible time finding my way.  My glasses and contact lenses save my life every day.

The house I didn't grow up in.  When I lived in Europe, my parents built a new house and moved out of the one I spent all my childhood years in.  For whatever reason it didn't bother me and when I walked into their new house for the first time I knew why, it felt just like home.  The warm comforting smell was the same.  The paintings were there, the Indonesian artifacts from my Opa, the couches we had sent from Holland, photos of the family.  There were new things too, the Dutch Delft tiles in the kitchen, the new paintings, new furniture.  I lived in that house for a few months here and there, it was never mine, there are no childhood memories that exist in the corners, they only exist in our memories, but when I walk into that home, I feel safe.

What are your security blankets?

September 18, 2010

Weight of the World

"I got my feet knocked off the ground
I got my head knocked off my feet
I tried to swallow all the world
And now I've gotten in too deep"

Patrick Watson - Weight of the World

This is how I feel when I am a complete wreck in class.  I feel as though I've taken on so much, that I've swallowed my yoga, my emotions, my struggles and am gasping for air. 

Please enjoy some beautiful Canadian music.  One of my most favourite artists, Patrick Watson.

September 13, 2010

Blissful Weekend

This weekend was full of gasps, laughs, giggles, loves, sweat and pinball.

Friday night, LW and I went to Cirque du Soleil's Alegria.  It was amazing and beautiful.  The clowns made me laugh.  The trapeze artists made my stomach turn with all their flips.  The contortionist ladies made my jaw drop, as they did backward bends I would not have thought possible.  It was truly money well spent.

Saturday morning I practiced yoga with a room full of newbies.  It was a free weekend at my yoga studio and I love practicing with Bikram virgins.  There's something exciting about being a part of a class where things don't go smoothly, where people leave the room and talk.  It tests your limits.  It wasn't as packed as some other free weekends I've been to but I would have to say more than half of the class had never practiced before.  I was up front and center and even though I felt strong, I was dizzy.  I kept getting white
spots in my vision and had to kneel down quite a few times in the standing series.  I have not sweat that
much in the longest time!  This rain we've been getting lately has made the studio much juicier.  I practically
fell on my head getting up after class from the excess sweat on my towel.

After I'd recovered from class, we wandered around downtown Victoria with our favourite little buddy.  He is 7 and was so very excited to come with us on our wanderings around town.  We went to the library, a toy store, a coffee shop where buddy boy had steamed milk with vanilla (he knew exactly what he wanted) and LW and I had americanos.  We, then, traipsed off to this video store that has old school arcade games.  There was frogger, pac-man and many more that I would have to get LW to name for you because one thing I am not is a video game connoiseur.  We played pinball, my favourite of all games.  It lasts just long enough to be fun but not too long so that it loses my attention.  It truly warmed my heart to spend the day with LW and his best buddy.

That night it started raining, and it rained and it rained and it rained.  It was the perfect excuse to stay in bed all morning Sunday.  To lay on the couch and drink coffee and watch The Sopranos.  To go out for a late breakfast when the rain had turned to a drizzle and then to come home again and cuddle back on the couch and watch more of The Sopranos.

I love these weekends.  These days that are completely mine.  These days that leave me feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

September 8, 2010


I thought about many different insightful things I could write today, but you know, none of them seemed natural.  I thought of ways I could say this eloquently, poetically, with a song or a picture.  Nothing worked.  So I'll just say it.

I'm am so bloody happy to be apart of this community of yoga bloggers.  I love that you read my blog and comment and support.  I love how I feel I can do the same with all of you.  I love that I feel as though there are people around the world who empathize and sympathize and laugh and cry along with me - even though I've never met you.

Thank you, for reading and supporting.  It always means a lot.

September 3, 2010

Happy Friday!

I've taken a new spin on my outlook of life right now.  I'm going to be positive. 

I am a firm believer that everything I have chosen to do in my life has taught me something.  All my experiences, my choices have helped me grow to become the woman I am today.  All of my friends, lovers and strangers that have crossed my path have given me a little something, just as I have given them a little something.  Every breath of air that I breathe, sip of water that I take, yoga pose that I practice brings me closer to something.  I don't know what - but this something is forward.  Forward towards me being who I truly am - discovering the many different sides, crevices, caves and valleys that I have. 

I had a rough go of it for awhile.  I'd forgotten this belief, this feeling that I have.  Mainly being unsatisfied in my job - my career.  I let it get to me.  To consume all of my thoughts.  No more!  I am on the look out for a more challenging path.  Something will come.  My feelers are out there and they are generally pretty good at finding what I want - or what I think I want.

So in the meantime I am going to look forward to this well deserved long weekend.  To the sleep ins with my lovely.  To dinner with my brother and his girlfriend.  To an afternoon with my BFF.  To a Saturday morning yoga class, coming home and not having to go anywhere.  To just relaxing.

Happy Friday everyone!