On Practicing While Ill

On Saturday night I got bowled over by a cold.  Sniffling, coughing in my sleep, snoring so loud that LW had to get me to roll over, achy, hot and cold and just tired.  I've noticed that since practicing yoga regularly I rarely get sick.  I may teeter on the edge of a cold but it rarely hits me.  It probably got me hard this time because LW and I spent our Friday night drinking a bottle of Scotch and dancing around the living room.

I spent most of the day on the couch Sunday, alternating between hot and cold, staring at the TV, wanting to eat my face off (does anyone else get super hungry when they're sick?) and reading.  I took the day off on Monday - stayed home and nursed my cold.  I decided that I would go to the 1:45pm class and try to sweat the sickness out of my body.

The lovely Carla was teaching and she told me that Balancing Stick is really good for getting rid of the fever because it raises the heart rate and that Fixed Firm opens your lymphatic system and that Cobra opens the chest and helps clear congestion.  She told me to take it easy and that the Standing Series would probably be easier than the Floor Series.

Some poses were more challenging than others and introduced new sensations in my body.  I could barely backward bend in Half Moon, Eagle was more trying that usual, Standing Bow caused me a little pain in my lower back.  I loved Standing Seperate Leg Forehead to Knee - loved! - normally I loathe this pose and Triangle - well it just exhausted me.  I was so ready to lie down when we finally got to floor. 

I nearly fell asleep in the 2 minute Savasana!  That has never happened to me before but I woke up when I heard the cue for Wind Removing Pose.  Everything was sore and achy during the floor poses - my hips - my lower back - my upper back - my shoulders.  I tried every pose once and sat out many second sets.  By the time class was over I was exhausted yet content.

Best thing I could have done for myself was going to class.  The cold is still with me but I think I coaxed most of it out of me on Monday and this morning.

Does anyone else practice when they're sick?  Or if not, why?

Yoga Sutra

"Aversion is that which dwells on pain."
From the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

To me this means that what is painful to us we try to escape, to avoid, to runaway from.  We need to try to confront what is painful.  To try to work through the pain, whether it be physical or emotional. 

In my first 30 day challenge, my lower back became incredibly painful.  I remember being nearly in tears on my mat.  I was angry at the yoga because I thought the yoga was supposed to help my back, not hurt it.  After class I spoke to my teacher and he said that I needed to keep coming - that I needed to work with that pain.  I listened to his advice and within a week my back had returned to normal - more than likely it was stronger than it had been before.  Now, when my back twinges, I try to look at this as a sign that I am healing - that my back is balancing itself out - that my muscles are getting stronger and shifting because they no longer have to compensate.

The instructors in Bikram yoga often talk about how pain is good.  An asana should hurt, it should challenge us.  I have read that Bikram, himself, believes that in our Western culture we look for easy fixes - we want that magic pill.  To fix our backs, to help us lose weight, to keep us up all night to study for that exam.  There is no denying that we have all wanted that pill at one point in our lives.  But things that are hard teach us, help us grow, heal us.  So confront your pain next time you are in class.  Be aware of your pain.  Know the difference between excruciating pain and pain that you just don't want to deal with.  Try to deal with it.  And know that I will be in my yoga studio in Victoria trying to confront my pain.

Throat Choked Feeling

You know that throat choked sensation you get in Standing Seperate Leg Forehead to Knee(Dandayamana-Bibhaktapada-Janushiransana) pose?  That feeling that makes you feel like you can't breathe?  That sensation that there is something wrapped tightly around your neck ready to choke every bit of life out of you?  Ok, maybe you don't.  But this is how I feel in this pose. 

I've had an issue with my neck and my throat for as long as I can remember.  I fall asleep with a hand up by my neck, just in case some psychopathic killer sneaks into my house in the middle of the night and tries to choke me.  I cannot fall asleep wearing necklaces.  Turtleneck sweaters freak me out and make me feel as though I'm going to suffocate.  Too much neck nuzzling makes me jumpy and ticklish.

When I first started practicing Iyengar yoga, 3 years ago, Savasana was the most difficult pose for me.  Lying still at the end of class for 5 minutes was nearly impossible.  I always felt as though some unseen force was pressing down on my throat.  It would get heavier and heavier until I would have to reach up with my hand and rub my throat.  One day I pushed through the feeling.  I lay there and concentrated on my breath and allowed the weight to come across my neck and just as I thought I was going to be suffacated by this unseen force, it melted off my skin like warm wax.  And from that point I rarely felt uncomfortable or panic when I lay in Savasana or went to sleep at night.

Until this week.

Suddenly, my favourite pose, Savasana, has become hell.  That feeling of creeping weight is back.  I stare at the ceiling and try to focus only on my breath.  It doesn't work.  I reach up and cup my hand around my neck just to make sure there is nothing there.

What the hell is this????

Does it have something to do with my throat chakra?  Some kind of connection with my growth in expressing myself since I've started Bikram yoga?  Is it to do with my thyroid gland and the fact that my metabolism and hormones are becoming more regular?  Is this the same kind of reaction that I go through with, for example, the Spine Strengthening Series?  Where for periods I love the poses, I am strong and willing and able and then this switches and I am in hate with every pose and I struggle both mentally and physically?

I really have no idea and am at a bit of a loss for why I have this affliction with my throat and my neck.  But as most of the yoga instructors say, "If you are struggling, that's a good thing!  It means your body is changing." So I'll take this in stride.  But if anyone has ever experienced this or has any opinion on why this would be happening, please share!

M.I.A

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve shown my face around here.  I’ve been having a rough go of it and the thought of writing about my yoga was more than I could handle.

The hot room has been hotter than any kind of hell I can imagine.  My muscles have been screaming – hips, calves, lower back, shoulders.  I have burst into tears a few times in the last three weeks.  Pranayama Deep Breathing was more like Pranayama Gasp For What Little Air You Can.  I’ve sat out Stick, Triangle and the entire Spine Strengthening Series.  I’ve been hiding in the far back corner of the room.  My brain would not shut off.   I had cut my practice back from 5 – 6 days a week to 3. 

And then one morning I asked a teacher about my Pranayama.  It was killing me that I could not breathe.  All he said was, “Fake it.”  I know.  Not what you’d expect to hear, right?  But you know what?  It gave me permission to just accept my practice.  To accept myself and yep, to fake it if I’m really having a hard time and feel like I want to scream and cry and fall down on my mat.

And now?  I’m back , baby!  I feel strong.  I feel on fire.  I still have screaming muscles.  I am still tired some mornings.  The room is still hot.  But I’ve found myself again.  I can look at my own eyes in the mirror again.  I like what I see and am happy with me and the simple fact that I am there, in the room.